will the real jon lee please stand up?

i was just reading through my old posts when a particular one caught my attention. dated dec 20th 2003.

i sound like a different person.

goodness, look at august25th 2003.
im shocked (and amazed) at sept 8
sept 1, 18yearold's concept of ahem

but i actually remember the 20th of dec 2003. i was still really into bball. i was still lovin' and still livin' (haha i used to write like that) and most of all, i remember that play i watched that night with davin. i put up my hand that night and You saw me.

but it almost feels surreal. I can hardly recognize. goes to show how much life changes, shapes, moulds. (You, really :) ) i could never have imagined what was on the cards. not even close. i was happy. i was happy go lucky. not a worry in the world.

not that i'm no longer, but it's just so different.

growing up eh' hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

some say growing up makes you more cynical. you could probably add to list: worry worry worry. more responsibilities. prioritize, prioritize. so much to do so little time. didn't do that well enough. forgot to do that. ah, no money. oh, if only. this one that one. sound familiar? haha.

i was reading a chapter out of 'The Secrets Men Keep' last night. (what a title) and apparently, men find it progressively harder to let stuff out after they've been burned. a state of broken-ness and vulnerability you'd rarely find a man, often hidden under an escutcheon of pride, and image - it's a different type of pride. so yeah, it's tough to talk about deepest darkest. while i don't think this is exclusive to just men, I also see just how vital it is to incorporate deepsharing in men's discipleship.

to comfort them with a; 'it's okay. really.' a pat on the back. a heartfelt prayer.

I used to really love psalm 119. it was the young man's psalm/prayer for me. i also found it soverycool that it was the longest psalm. like extra special haha (ok easily amused) but yeah the whole hide Your Word in my heart theme. loved it to bits.

another thing. i think deep down, for most guys, we still really wanna be that knight (i'll leave out the shining armour). ok, maybe not quite batman dark knight, although that would be reallycool, 'oh, actually im batman' hahahahaok maybe not. but yeah. the whole righteousness, justice, chivalry thing. fighting for what we believe. fighting for the poor. fighting for the powerless, the mistreated. and not only fighting the good fight, and trouncing our enemies, but romancing the lady, (singular, and special) with utmost respect.

but most of all, laying down our lives for the King.

for honour, for glory

for the King that saved us all.


another great point was that Christian men go through years and years of well, being Christian, just to become? well. really nice guys?

is that all we are? or become? really nice guys? forgive me, but mayhap, that sounds a little boring. sorry, but i'd be a batman any day. hahaha. I think it's vital to also remember that as we surrender ourselves continually, it does not necessarily mean we become boring and unassuming. I really think that the Creator is far more creative than that :)

and so, the whole point was? oh yeah. i read an old post from back in 2003.
i think i would do good to remember just how far God has brought me. and be thankful for it. i'm not boring. i 'm just

swept away by His love.