what is it like
to know yet to not feel
to do and to not think
tis' the strength that does not surface
yet
it succumbs to the emptiness
a forsaken touch
that leaves the heart frozen
numbed to the wondrous warmth
for far too long it has been
and done in this way
the mangled delusion of trust
for far too long
have the clouds obscured the sky
and then you sit and realise
why
why?
and yet, with the silence
gazes that do not meet
thoughts that do not comprehend
hearts that do not feel
consumed by the darkness, by deceit
it is then
that you remember
the unnerving truth of faith begotten
for which had never left
the sadness and sorrow
once bereft of dignity
it comes together as one
with faith
and hope
there is none
Tuesday, January 13, 2004
Saturday, January 10, 2004
played golf with my dad in jb today. wasn't too shabby i guess, considering i haven't played for ages! mmm.. my shoe broke on the 18th hole, not really important but had to to throw it away when we got back to the clubhouse. had a good drink (of beer) with dad, downed with some nice m'sian fried rice. kinda like malaysia lots more after going back these past few times...maybe im beginning to appreciate my original home...
home is where the heart is eh?
but i dont know where my heart is..
=P
home is where the heart is eh?
but i dont know where my heart is..
=P
Wednesday, January 07, 2004
righto.
now. allow me to recall what i have done over the past week. err.
ooo..NEW YEAR! gosh how can i forget new year! hahaha..well, new year was a blast (literally) and was one of the most enjoyable ones i had in a while. unlike previous years - sittin' at home watchin tv, goin out partying, etc- we (davin ,zheng and moi) did something that started out kinda as a lame idea at first. heck, we didnt even know where to go and what to do at ..6pm on new year's eve! no plans...so started out with some last minute calling and planning..to no avail. so what did we do? er. meet up. and then?
err. NOTHING REALLY!
but it was fun! basically we just sat around and did nothing. LOL. how gay is that.
so why was it fun? haha...seriously i dont know! we kinda just enjoyed talking crap and doing the mundane things that we do everyday! read: play games. but at about 11 or so we hopped over to davins place..and pulled out the mahjong table!!
right next to the tv too, so we were watching the countdwn as it happened. had this babe/hunk thing going on. was real bad but jamie yeo (host) looked damn good. heh.celebrated the new year over mahjong and a can of booze each! (courtesy of davin's dad) continued to gamble like a bunch of serious amatuers until abt 3am, when we decided to do some really crazy shit with the packs of sparklers in the house (courtesy of davin's dad). we kinda made our own rocket-esque fireworks with em' till we had a whole bag, pretty dodgey i must say, held together with cello tape n' all.. but oh well. haha..next, onwards to set 'em off! not too easy this mission, since its pretty illegal to play play with anithing bigger or more explosive than kid's sparklers. so we had to keep movin frm spot to spot and keep a lookout for people (mostly drunks and stoned teens returning home) finally settled at some playground since sand would come in handy for puttin' out any fire. and heck was there plenty offire. hahaha..lookin' more like self combusting hotdogs standing vertical, the dubious 'rockets' sure lacked the oomph and any form of quality workmanship in their production to propel themselves upwards. so what did they do? pretty much explode (with a hiss and a bang) into flames there and then on the ground. so we marvelled at how beautifully how cello tape melted away with sparks and flames coming out from everywhere but the right place, we just couldnt help but revel in awe at the amazing spectacle of dud fireworks. in a sheer moment of delight, zheng then proposed we end the thing with a bang and packed the raw explosive power of 2 whole boxes worth of sparklers into our final showing. wow. did it fly? hell no. did it hiss and spurt and implode into a vertical rod of crazy-ass flames whilst burning a hole in one of the playground benches? HECK YEAH! really crazy shit, that. boy, did we have a blast. (literally) had hella time putting out the fire with the sand and our feet. so, satisfied with our exquisite handiwork, we made back to davin's for more cards and mahjong tiles. ack.
at 10am, when we were all dead and lookin' like zombies, somehow we made it into the light outside. seemed like we'd never seen the sun in days. eyes a'squintin' and legs wobbling about, we stumbled our way to the nearby kopitiam for brekkie. mmm...food. first meal of the year. first day of the year. ahhhhhhhhhh.......
what a year this is gonna be.
now. allow me to recall what i have done over the past week. err.
ooo..NEW YEAR! gosh how can i forget new year! hahaha..well, new year was a blast (literally) and was one of the most enjoyable ones i had in a while. unlike previous years - sittin' at home watchin tv, goin out partying, etc- we (davin ,zheng and moi) did something that started out kinda as a lame idea at first. heck, we didnt even know where to go and what to do at ..6pm on new year's eve! no plans...so started out with some last minute calling and planning..to no avail. so what did we do? er. meet up. and then?
err. NOTHING REALLY!
but it was fun! basically we just sat around and did nothing. LOL. how gay is that.
so why was it fun? haha...seriously i dont know! we kinda just enjoyed talking crap and doing the mundane things that we do everyday! read: play games. but at about 11 or so we hopped over to davins place..and pulled out the mahjong table!!
right next to the tv too, so we were watching the countdwn as it happened. had this babe/hunk thing going on. was real bad but jamie yeo (host) looked damn good. heh.celebrated the new year over mahjong and a can of booze each! (courtesy of davin's dad) continued to gamble like a bunch of serious amatuers until abt 3am, when we decided to do some really crazy shit with the packs of sparklers in the house (courtesy of davin's dad). we kinda made our own rocket-esque fireworks with em' till we had a whole bag, pretty dodgey i must say, held together with cello tape n' all.. but oh well. haha..next, onwards to set 'em off! not too easy this mission, since its pretty illegal to play play with anithing bigger or more explosive than kid's sparklers. so we had to keep movin frm spot to spot and keep a lookout for people (mostly drunks and stoned teens returning home) finally settled at some playground since sand would come in handy for puttin' out any fire. and heck was there plenty offire. hahaha..lookin' more like self combusting hotdogs standing vertical, the dubious 'rockets' sure lacked the oomph and any form of quality workmanship in their production to propel themselves upwards. so what did they do? pretty much explode (with a hiss and a bang) into flames there and then on the ground. so we marvelled at how beautifully how cello tape melted away with sparks and flames coming out from everywhere but the right place, we just couldnt help but revel in awe at the amazing spectacle of dud fireworks. in a sheer moment of delight, zheng then proposed we end the thing with a bang and packed the raw explosive power of 2 whole boxes worth of sparklers into our final showing. wow. did it fly? hell no. did it hiss and spurt and implode into a vertical rod of crazy-ass flames whilst burning a hole in one of the playground benches? HECK YEAH! really crazy shit, that. boy, did we have a blast. (literally) had hella time putting out the fire with the sand and our feet. so, satisfied with our exquisite handiwork, we made back to davin's for more cards and mahjong tiles. ack.
at 10am, when we were all dead and lookin' like zombies, somehow we made it into the light outside. seemed like we'd never seen the sun in days. eyes a'squintin' and legs wobbling about, we stumbled our way to the nearby kopitiam for brekkie. mmm...food. first meal of the year. first day of the year. ahhhhhhhhhh.......
what a year this is gonna be.
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